Should I Confront Him?
There’s this guy I like. He said he liked me too. We have been talking for 3 months now. I meet him at church :) but he’s being dry. He says he’s always busy at work and gets off work late and doesn’t have time to be on his phone. He says he’s sorry and yet tells me he loves me. Today this guy came up to me telling me that there’s this girl who likes him too. The guy I like supposedly knows. The guy telling me this didn’t want to say who the girl was because he didn’t want to hurt my feelings. But it did. I cried. I’m overthinking and I don’t know what to do. Should I stop talking to the guy I like? Do I confront him? I don’t know what to do. Help me!
First, I want to say I’m so glad you reached out. Your feelings are completely valid—what you’re experiencing is confusing and painful, especially since you care deeply for this person. It shows how sincere your heart is, and God sees your hurt and wants to guide you through it.
Here are a few thoughts and steps you might find helpful:
1. Take a Step Back and Pray
Before deciding what to do, spend time in prayer asking God for clarity, peace, and wisdom. James 1:5 reminds us, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” When emotions are high, pausing to invite God into your decision-making is the best first step.
2. Consider the Pattern of His Actions
While he says he loves you, his actions—being consistently unavailable and “dry”—don’t show commitment or intentionality. Love isn’t just words; it’s shown through consistent care, time, and respect. If he genuinely values you, he will want to prioritize communication, even in small ways, despite his busy schedule.
3. Don’t Let Insecurity Drive You
It’s understandable that what you heard about another girl has shaken you. But don’t rush to conclusions based on secondhand information—especially if it’s vague and incomplete. That said, your feelings of uncertainty are real and shouldn’t be ignored.
4. Communicate Directly and Kindly
Rather than letting confusion and overthinking take over, consider having an honest but gentle conversation with him. For example:
“I really appreciate you, but I’ve been feeling confused and hurt lately. I heard someone mention that there might be someone else interested in you. I don’t want to assume anything, but I’d like to understand where you see this relationship going and what you want.”
This will give him the opportunity to clarify his feelings and intentions directly.
5. Value Yourself as God Does
Remember you are precious and worthy of someone who will pursue you with intentionality and clarity. Psalm 139:14 says, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Don’t settle for a relationship that leaves you doubting your value or feeling second place.
6. Discern and Decide
After you talk to him, reflect on what he says and whether it aligns with what you believe God wants for you. A relationship should bring peace and mutual respect, not constant confusion or insecurity. If his answers don’t show commitment or care, it may be wise to step back, guard your heart, and give the situation to God.
7. Lean on Trusted Friends or Mentors
Don’t navigate this alone—talk with someone you trust, like a family member, pastor, or friend, who can support you and pray with you.
Above all, know that God has a good plan for you—one that doesn’t involve settling for uncertainty or emotional pain. He wants you to be with someone who honors Him and cherishes you. Trust Him to guide you to the right person in the right time.
