He Already Chose You
Sierra Scribner @sierraalexandrascribner
Hey beautiful ladies, let’s have some much-needed girl talk. I haven’t been in a relationship in almost three years now. Now I know some of you may think “wow that’s not long at all” or “wow, wow Sierra you must be wishing you were in one, by now.” Ah, well let’s talk about that.
At first I did want to have a boyfriend, but I quickly realized that every time I would go on a date the same empty nagging feeling would grow inside me. I never felt peace and I would hear God telling me “not now.” Well as frustrating as it was, I kept attempting the whole “trying to date beautiful boys thing.” (side note) When God tells you “no,” you should just listen the first time. Honestly, looking back I feel as if I was trying to tell God “nah, you don’t know what’s best for me”… how sadly mistaken I was to tell the creator of the universe that He simply didn’t know best. As time and pointless dates went on, hurt & confusion crept in. I knew God was protecting me and wanting me to do something big with my life, but sadly none of the boys I was attracted to were attracted to even the idea of God, let alone loved God. I think about the saying my mom used to tell me: “you are what you attract.” I realized if I am attracting the so called “hot athletic boys” that do not want anything to do with Jesus, then who am I? How did I stray so far from the cross… the cross that literally paid all my sins and paid my debt. I went back to the lingering feeling inside me telling me “Sierra you were created for more.” Finally I wasn’t going to ignore the voice or the little flame inside me anymore. As I was driving home with tears in my eyes from yet another broken heart, I cried out to God: “God I can’t keep being on my path and thinking I’m on yours, God I hear you and I feel an overwhelming sense of you and what you are trying to do in me… I keep ignoring it, but you keep pursuing me… so what, what on earth do you have for me, what am I going to do with this little flame in my heart”?
The conversation with my sweet Jesus went on as I told Him I would relinquish everything to make Him my everything; I would stop searching for love because His love had already found me. Remember that Jesus wants you to be loved by a wonderful man and He has that man for you. You may keep wondering why things aren’t working out or why God keeps saying no, but I promise in His “no’s” He is working on a greater yes. Ever since I have given my whole heart and soul to Jesus, I have found that knowing Him is better than knowing any type of guy, if it is not the guy that Jesus has for me.. Establishing an intimate relationship with God is everything. I used to think “ya right, I can’t cuddle Jesus and Jesus can’t talk back to me, I will feel so lonely.” WOW was I sorely mistaken. Jesus has turned my loneliness’ into fruitfulness, He has turned my wants into His desires for my life, He has turned my happiness into joy, and He continues to be faithful through it all because He is too good to let me go. (and He is too good to let you go!)
One night I was at a worship night at my university and I felt the holy spirit just pouring out on me; I felt the calling on my life so strongly and felt so lonely, like no one understood. I tend to be a cup filler, but no one has ever been my cup filler and I just was beat. As the music was playing this girl stood up and said “there is a calling on your life, listen to all that God has to say because what He is going to do is going to blow your mind.” I quickly had tears streaming down my face as I realized that God spoke to her and told her to say that to me. I walked over to her and she just hugged me and spoke life into me- then she told me this: “when I close my eyes and think about Sierra Scribner I see a dessert. It’s dry and there is not a tree or cactus in sight. But, I see a stem shooting up… it’s not a flower yet, but there is dirt and a stem sprouting from the ground getting ready to bloom…” WOW! This meant the world to me because it was proof that God is with me through every season and watching me grow. If that is you right now, if you are growing and going through the season of growing pains like me… know that it is simply a season; seasons do not last but they do teach you and prepare you. Be willing to experience and live in every season He has you go through. He is simply preparing you for more and molding you into the fearless girl He has created you to be. As we get older we can either continue to lose ourselves or find ourselves in Him. Wonderful sis, He won’t fail you. Choose Him. He already chose you.
“ God is within her, she will NOT fall” Psalm 46:5
Listen to “Seasons”- by Hillsong
Praying for you sweet women of God!!!