Have you ever found yourself thinking these things about sex?
"If I don’t, I’ll lose him"
Then he never really loved you.
"I’ve already done it, what’s the point in stopping now?"
For God, it doesn’t matter, He forgives and forgets. So respect yourself just as He respects you.
"We’re engaged -- that’s practically married"
Practically but not actually. Unfortunately, you don’t know if you will walk down the aisle; a lot can happen between then and now.
"But I love him"
Intimacy doesn’t always mean love.
"Everybody does it, it’s no big deal anymore"
This isn’t a trend of clothing that everyone is wearing, it’s a life changing choice that you will carry forever. Don’t follow the masses.
"I didn’t have a choice"
Sadly this is something that does happen to young women. And as traumatic as it is, don’t let it determine who you are. Seek help and know that God sees your purity and can give you a fresh start.
"How will I know if we are compatible?"
Sex does NOT determine compatibility or a lasting relationship. So don’t use it to excuse the choice.
"It means he wants to be closer to me"
Sex doesn’t equal the closeness that I know you want. If he really wants to be closer he WILL take the time to get to know you as a friend--not sleep with you to satisfy his desire.
"My mom and dad did it before they were married"
That’s them—not you. And I bet if you ask, they will tell you they wish they had waited.
"I want to know what it’s like..."
Curiosity keeps drawing you in until you have done everything under the sun and when you finally stop and look up you don’t even know how you got there. Plus, your first time can be awkward! You want to experience that with someone you trust and who is committed to you.
I know that it’s hard to imagine the damage that pre-marital sex can have on a girl. My dad used the sermon one Sabbath to explain it through a very clever and clear illustration.
He asked one of the guys to come to the front of the church and stand next to him. Once he was there dad carefully brought out a beautiful fresh red rose from behind the pulpit and asked the guy to squeeze the rose with one hand. Then he called another young man to come up and squeeze the rose. One by one he called different guys and all had to do the exact same thing: squeeze the rose.
Can you imagine the state of that rose after this? The once beautiful, vibrant, lush rose was now withered and wilted. Petals were scattered everywhere, trampled from the footsteps of each young man. That rose was never to be the same again. Yet each young man that walked away from the rose, remained untouched and unaffected.
• For guys sex before marriage offers a convenient release of their urges
• Sometimes a girl will continue in a sexual relationship so that she can keep her boyfriend
• Sex before marriage destroys the value and the meaning of the honeymoon. It takes away from the great expectations you are supposed to experience.
• Sex before marriage may result in feelings of guilt. Most girls that sleep with their boyfriend for the first time feel afraid.
• Guys are not affected as much as girls. In their circle of friends premarital sex is regarded as cool and friends may look up to them with awe and envy.
• Having sex before marriage with multiple partners will increase your chances of getting sexually transmitted disease such as; (Chlamydia, Gonorrhoea, Genital herpes, HIV and AIDS, Genital warts, Crabs (pubic lice), Vaginal thrush etc..)
• We live in a sexually stimulated society that promotes it through everything, making it out to be fun, natural and appropriate.
• Just because you don’t go all the way doesn’t mean it’s not sex (eg. Oral, heavy petting and others)
• High risks of pregnancy
Sex is a major part of society. Lots of girls are either doing it or being called nuns if they aren’t. Literature gives you advice on how to do it safely, and boyfriends lure you with sweet words and kisses to get you into bed.
God created sex to be something wonderful and sacred between a husband and wife, but throughout the years Satan has completely distorted what God meant to be beautiful. Each time you have sex with someone you leave a little piece of yourself with them. Once it’s done, there’s no rewind button to undo it. Sometimes you feel so guilty and so dirty and feel like you can’t forgive yourself, but there is a God who forgives you—no matter how many times you ask—and who desperately wants you to run to Him when you feel this way.