I made a mistake and I don't know how to forgive myself
Message: I was dating a non-christian boy and I made a mistake--it's not so serious--but it makes me feel like "dirty" and embarrassed. I have prayed so much and I think God forgave me but I still feel the guilt. I don't know how to forgive myself and I kind of blame the guy (and I don't wanna have those kinds of feelings in my heart and mind). Sometimes I think that it was ALL my fault and I was really an idiot..I'm just so confused right now, I don't know what to do.
We have all made mistakes at some point in our lives. Mistakes that we may feel we could never be forgiven for. I, personally, have dealt with my fair share of mistakes that left me feeling the lowest of the low. I went on with life, for years, thinking that God could never forgive me for the things that I had done. It was torture! But I realized, God forgave me before I even made that mistake. We are human and are not without fault. Because He knows this, He sent His son to die for us in advance and all we have to do is ask Him for forgiveness and know that it is done. You will continue to feel the guilt until you reconcile within yourself. You have to forgive yourself for what you've done. It is not all of your fault. If what happened involved the two of you, then the blame is equally placed. Forgive him, forgive yourself, and allow God to show you that He already forgave you long ago. I know it is so much easier said, than done. But please know that God knows your heart. Just as you asked Him to forgive you, ask Him to help you forgive yourself. This is the only way you will heal - mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I'm not sure of the relationship you have with the guy, but maybe talk with him. Express how you feel. It could be that, perhaps, you need some type of closure to the situation. Welcome God deep into this situation and just allow Him to take control. We are the hardest on ourselves when we feel that we've done something we know we shouldn't have. But that's the nature of the human being. Trust me, you will make many more mistakes. The key is to try to not make the same mistake twice. Ask the Father for strength, He will surely get you through. You are not alone in this. You never were, and you never will be. Hugs and prayers.